At 5:19 on Sunday December 4, 2005 I was sitting on the couch in my 
living room flipping through a sale flyer to the mall wondering what on 
earth I was going to buy my parents for Christmas when the phone rang. 
I looked over my shoulder at the caller ID and instantly smiled upon 
seeing my favorite number: Schoen. I shouted across the house that I 
would answer the phone.
	“Hello?”
	“Hi this is Sandy Schoen, Joey’s mom. You know Joey, right?”
	My heart stopped for a moment. This was not what I was expecting to 
hear, what was going on? “Yeah I do”
	“Oh, well have you heard from him at all today?” I felt my heart 
sinking in my chest as I knew I hadn’t. He hadn’t answered the phone earlier 
when I called. I told her that I had not heard from Joey all day and 
she thanked me and said good-bye. Shocked, I stood in the exact place 
that I had been when I heard Joey’s mom’s voice.
The only rational thing I could think to do was to make a long distance 
call to North Carolina to my best friend, Joanie. My entire body was 
starting to shake as I told her about the phone call but as any best 
friend would do, she tried to cheer me up as we talked about anything but 
the fact that my sinking suspicion might be right. Who died at sixteen 
years anyway? After 67 minutes of laughing and bubbly conversation I 
hung up the phone.
	I had to prove myself wrong so I dialed the oh- too familiar cell 
phone number. I heard his voicemail pick up “Hey its Joey. I’m not here 
right now but leave me a message and I’ll talk to you later.” After the 
beep I left him a message telling him that his mom had called me and that 
it was really worrying me and “Please don’t be dead, call me back or 
I’ll have a heart attack.” By this time I was worried, more than my usual 
worrying self when it came to him. I once again picked up the phone and 
called Joey’s friend Matt to find out what was going on.
	“Alli the cops are out looking for Joey, no one knows where he is,” 
Matt replied in a low voice. Oh my God. How could this be happening? I 
wondered where he was, where his truck was, when the last time was that 
anyone had seen him, and if there was anything I could do.
	A little after 7:00 I heard the tones on my scanner for the fire 
department going off. “Burlington Base to Burlington Ambulance on a signal 7 
echo, 105 Davis Road.” I ran over to the scanner and kneeled to the 
ground, this was Joey’s house and a signal 7 echo was the most serious 
level of emergency there was. I waited for any bit of information they 
would give out. My mom came into the room and pulled me onto the couch 
with her. I felt tears forming at my eyes as I rubbed my legs nervously 
and cracked my knuckles, trying to stay calm.
	It was then that the dispatcher told all responding units to slow 
down. “Mom! What does that mean!? Is it bad or good!?” She just pulled me 
closer and I started couldn’t hold back the tears any more. “He can’t be 
dead!” I screamed at her and to myself. My mom didn’t know what to say 
and I wouldn’t let her hug me anymore. I began pacing hysterically 
across the living room floor, shaking uncontrollably, repeating to myself 
that he was only sixteen. “I need to go up there,” I told her quietly, 
“I need to see Matt and Adam. I need to be there for when Joey’s okay.” 
My voice got louder and more frantic as I spoke and started to lose 
what was left of my cool.
	“Alli, you can’t go up there,” she said softly with regret and fear in 
her voice.
	“Mom! I have to! I have to go up there, I need to, I have to, Mom! Let 
me go!” She sighed and tried to figure out what she was going to do, 
what a parent should do in a situation like this. Finally, she walked 
into the other room to call my grandparents. I heard her tell my 
grandmother that she needed them to come to the house to watch the boys because 
something happened with Joey. I took this as my yes and ran to find my 
coat and sneakers, stumbling and shaking as I rushed up the stairs to 
my room and then back down. Then I got in the car.
	On my way up the street all I saw were blurry black streets and house 
lights reflecting off the little bit of ice and snow that were on the 
road. After the longest car ride of my life we pulled onto Davis Road. I 
saw emergency vehicles lined up on the side of the road and flashing 
lights from police cars. My mom parked in front of a police car and we 
started walking toward the action. At the Joey’s driveway a fire and 
ambulance person that my family knows was parked to make sure no one went 
toward the “Crime Scene.” She told me I couldn’t go near the field, that 
they had found Joey’s body there.
	“Body? That means he’s… dead?” I asked my voice cracking and the tears 
pouring down my face. She just answered yes and I dropped to the snowy 
pavement where he had walked so many times. I stared toward the field 
where spotlights were being shone and zoned out in disbelief and grief. 
She begged my mom and I to get in the truck because it was so cold 
outside but all I could do was cry and repeat over and over and over again 
that I needed to find Adam. Adam was Joey’s best friend and they spent 
all their free time together, they were inseparable. In that moment, I 
realized Adam was the closest thing to Joey I had left. I felt them 
looking at me, wondering what to say. I didn’t care that they were 
looking, I didn’t care that I was crying in front of them, I didn’t care about 
anything in that moment but this all being a dream.
	I don’t know how long I spent in his driveway, crying and begging 
people to let me down to the field. It was freezing and I was shaking, but 
it wasn’t because I was cold. After a while my mom finally convinced me 
that we should go home, that there was no use in me being there. I 
reluctantly followed her back to the car.
	I walked through the door of my house, my face wet, my eyes spaced. I 
walked right over to the phone, knowing that people would have called 
me when they heard what happened. There were two calls from Danielle, a 
call from Ashley, a call from Adam, and a couple other people. I called 
Adam back first. He asked me if I had heard what happened and I replied 
that I had. He told me that some people were coming over to his house 
and that I could come if I wanted. “I’ll be there in fifteen minutes,” 
was my response.
	I went back downstairs and alerted my mom that we would be returning 
to almost the exact spot that we had returned from. After a brief pause, 
she told my grandparents she would be back. On the ride up to Adams my 
shaky hands dialed Joanie’s phone number.
	“Hello?”
	“Joanie, it was true, I was right. Joey’s dead.” My voice split on 
saying that he was dead for the first time as the crying started up again.
	“No, no, no, it’s not true, you’re such a bad liar, don’t lie” She 
became panicked and worried but couldn’t believe its relevance.
	“Joanie! I wouldn’t lie about this. He’s dead; they found his body. 
I’m going up to Adam’s right now; I’ll call you sometime tomorrow when I 
figure out what’s going on, bye.” She whispered good-bye and I hung up 
the phone.
	We pulled into Adam’s driveway and saw a bunch of people standing on 
the front doorstep, smoking cigarettes, crying, and looking destroyed. 
My friend Ashley ran down the steps to meet me and threw her arms around 
me. “Alli, I’m so sorry, I’m so sorry,” she cried into my shoulder and 
we stood there with tears streaming down our faces and clouds of cold 
air from our breath. “I should have never told you not to get back 
together with him, I just didn’t want you to get hurt again, but it happened 
anyway.” I told her I understood and we wiped our cheeks as we walked 
up the stairs together to everyone else.
	That night was a blur of hugs, tears, cigarettes, and memories. Adam’s 
dining room was packed with people keeping warm by the wood stove and 
shaking their heads in disbelief. People passed in and out of the house, 
a lot of whom I didn’t recognize. There was a permanent cloud of 
nicotine smoke floating above the table as glasses of hot chocolate and Pepsi 
were drunken and the plate of Oreo’s went untouched. Police officers 
came and questiond as well as a psychiatrist. People who never cried in 
front of people cried harder than anyone knew they could cry. 
Recollections of what an amazing guy Joey was came from everyone and anger, 
disbelief, and philosophies were shared. It was so unreal to everyone and I 
looked to the ceiling wondering how I would get through this without 
the person I leaned on most for support. How could you lose someone you 
loved like that? How could all those plans, dreams, and promises be 
shattered?
	Standing on the front doorstep with Ashley by my side, I dialed that 
oh-too familiar cell phone number, just to hear the voice I knew I would 
never hear from that mouth again. As I closed the phone, I felt my 
heart close as well.


  -- Alli